Checking In

I have realized that I haven't posted on my blogger for quite awhile.  Summer has been here and gone and now we are going thru fall and heading into winter.  I know that things will speed up quite a bit and before we know it we'll be celebrating New Year's. 

I have been advocating for people to pray for Sydney Ives.  She has had an incurable, inoperable brain tumor for the past year and half and she is living in her last hours.  She has had a very strong faith and has been a bright light in this very dark world.  I can't imagine the pain that her family is going thru as of this moment.  To lose a family member  is hard enough but a child....the pain would be incredible.  So please pray for this family and the wonderful little girl.   
My life has been easier although my breathing isn't what it should be.  I have a resilient infection that has taken several antibiotics to knock it out.  I'm on a several inhalers, including one that I take with a nebulizer.  My steriod has been upped back to 20 mg.  Which I know isn't bad but I would prefer not to be on any.  
I depend on God for my everything.  Since being diagnosed with an incurable cancer I have to depend on God because who else is there.  
I'm back at work but even that isn't without it's problems.  I started with full time but realized if I was going to get better I needed to go part time.  The only problem with that is I have to use a half day sick day to make up the rest of the day.  This is according to the Family and Medical Leave Act that I'm on.  I'm praying that I'll get better or a part time position comes open so I don't lose all my sick days.  But I love my job.  
I do wish at times I was closer that I worked in a library, that I breathed normally, the list goes on and on.  But I'm not where I used to be but I'm not where I want to be.  :-)  
I do post on another site regularly.... www.caringbridge.org/visit/dawnarie4
God's Peace,  Dawn

Moving

Last night Rick finally got moved completely out of the house in Rochelle. Not without quite a bit of drama. Barb, Rick's ex-girlfriend refused to let Buddy or Christie, Rick's new girlfriend, help him move, by coming into the house. Rick would carry things to the door and Buddy and Christie would carry them the rest of the way out. I don't know what she said or did but it got to the point where Rick wanted to hit her. Now we taught both boys never hit a girl and Rick didn't hit Barb but it must pretty bad.
Buddy did go into the house and he did help Rick move the heavier things regardless of what Barb said or wanted. Buddy never said anything negative to her just smiled at her.
But all this causes me to wonder...Barb has absolutely no idea that she is playing into the devil's hands. He's there laughing at her!
That makes me very sad. That she doesn't know the loving God that is waiting there for her.
But the good thing is that Rick is out of that situation. He no longer has to deal with the stress that Barb causes. Stress that can be very harmful to him. That I'm very grateful for.

Graduation Day (my last radiation treatment0

Well today was my last treatment. I must say that I glad that this stage of my life is over. I'm looking forward to a breather, to get healthy and get to know God more. In six weeks we'll know for certain if the cancer is gone. That is when I go in for my CT Scan and blood work. I'm breathing a lot better and feel a lot better. So know matter what this was a good thing. The people on the Welcome picture are Carla radiation tech, me, Amy a radiation tech and Dr. Bhati my radiation oncologist. These were wonderful people and I will truly miss seeing them everyday. Unfortunately the graduation certificate that I recieved was too big to post. :-( I'm so lucky. They told me that I didn't have the strong side affects they thought I would have. I really believe that is do to all the prays that have been said on my behalf. Thank you to all of you. I'm keeping up my caring bridge in hopes that I raise hopes in someone else. In everything keep a positive attitude. God's Peace, Dawn
I find you waiting by Decemberadio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4nRamM8Rms&feature=channel_page

Treatments last week

I have realized that I haven't been keeping up with my blog. I guess at times I just didn't have the energy needed to keep up with 2. My other website http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dawnarie4 I posted more often 2 or 3 times a week.
Well, this experience has taught me a lot about myself and my walk with God. I always thought that my faith was strong but I have realized that I really needed to stay in God's word. There were times of depression were I started wondering "what if, I don't want to die and etc." Very negative and could have been destructive. But I found a peace when I opened my Bible and read the words that God wanted me to see.
Now it's my last week. Today is my last day of chemo and radiation, then I'll have 3 more radiation days. I'm still uncertain on how I feel about all of this. I'm elated that I'm almost done. I won't have to be "zapped" anymore. But my type of cancer is how can I put it, annoying. It can come back. In fact it has a history of returning. But last month I prayed for God to heal me and I felt a warmth from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I believe God healed me. I have always said this will be all for God's Glory.
I want everyone to know God's love. God loves all of us. He can't help but love us. All the evil in this world is not from him. I wish all people knew this.
So instead of wondering the "what if's" I'm praising God. He got me thru cancer treatments!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU&feature=channel_page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMCR4p5mSjQ&feature=channel_page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GPpx9oINsI&feature=channel_page

First Treatment

Today I go for my first treatment. I can say that I'm feeling ok.
Yesterday when we got back home I started focusing on something I saw in one of my reports. It was a negative thing and it started to upset me,made me doubt and it was taking away my peace.
I prayed, 'God I know your with me but, I really need some help here.'
That's when I got out my Bible's and my book, Battlefield of the Mind and started reading.
I re-read and looked up verses I had highlighted and highlighted them in my Bibles. The reason I say Bible's is I have a few in different translations but this time I used my NIV and my New King James Version that is amplified.
As I kept reading the verses I started feeling better and the doubt and fear went away.
Today I have my CD's going so I am hearing positive words.
I know things will work out because God is here and he has a plan. I am just along for the ride.
God's peace,
Dawn
For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin, no matter how it come or where it leads) has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and he [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.
1 Corinthians 10:13

Follow up appointment

Today we had a follow up appointment with Dr. Warren at Rush University Hospital. My Mom and Dad went with us with Daddy driving.
We left extra early to factor in traffic because we would be in the middle of rush hour. Well, needless to say, there really wasn't any traffic. We got to Rush in a hour 15 minutes so we were there in plenty of time for my 9 o'clock appointment.
We had a lot of good news from Dr. Warren. He told us that the tumor wasn't all the big. The reason for not putting in a stint was because it wasn't necessary. He took off the tumor and widened the trachea. He said he may need to do that again or he may not.
So my question that I have in my mind is: Was the tumor always not very big or was it bigger and something happened to make it shrink, like God?
I want to think that God shrunk it. It was my prayer and many others.
Radiation on the inside would be something he would perform. He said it would be very simple to take down the shoot and zap the tumor from the inside.
But the other members of the team want to start from the outside.
Also about my voice. He told me that there is a very non-evasive procedure that an ENT can do that wouldn't take surgery to do. They would move my vocal cord more in the center. From the outside with a needle. We would try to do this if my voice was strained all the time.
These 2 procedures may be in the future.
On Monday I'll get blocked/ tattooed and Dr. Bhate will tell us the plan for the treatments.
Probably on Tuesday I'll start both Chemo and Radiation. Chemo will be once a week and Radiation will be 5 days a week.
So this was a great day, we got great news and didn't drive in rush hour traffic.
So we are ending this year with Good feelings and starting next year with those same Good feelings.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Psalm 91: 1,2