Saturday, September 20, 2008


This past I got a probable diagnosis of sarcoidosis. Even though I haven't had a biopsy yet, I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that I probably have this. I have read on the mayo clinic website that one possible cause could be genetic. Since my Mom has this and my aunt on my Dad's side also has it, I feel it's a given that I probably do too.
This unknown disease that I don't know much about, that is rare, usually hits African-American's. How in the world did I get it? Or any of my relatives for that manner.
Could it be that I don't really have asthma but sarcoidosis all these years? What about my bronchitis that I've had off and on too? Did it affect it? Was it in a dormant state and now just decided to pop up?
The past few months I've been trying to eat healthily, so I could get off some of the medications I've been on. So now what, will I be trading one set of drugs for another? But I will continue to lose weight, 18 pounds so far, because it's more important than ever.
Then I think about how God may be preparing me for all this. First Rick get MS then Mom with leukemia. Am I being sifted? Am I being tested? Because I really feel that I am.
Thenwe have a situation in my family where people are upset and angry. I just wish they would all except people for what they are and go on.
The past is the past, let stay in the past. And go on with life. Be grateful for the relationships that you have.
Then we have our presidential election, where Obama is for socialized medicine. You know Obama and socialized medicine scare me. I have never liked Obama. He doesn't stand for many things that I hold important. Quite frankly the man scares me.
Sigh.....and after all the questions and going thru this thick fog there is God. Knowing what is happening, knowing what I'm going through. Knowing how I feel . Knowing he'll lead me in the right direction and send the right doctors my way. I'll know I'll be safe because.... God is still in Control.

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