Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's been a month ago today that I've been diagnosed with ACC. It's been a rollercoaster ride so far, or maybe bumper cars would be a better carnival ride to describe this. But thru all of this I've depended on God for my everything. I'm still here, he's brought us wonderful doctors and people to help us. We are going to Rush today. There is a doctor who thinks he can do surgery. At first I didn't want this because I was afraid to lose my voice. Although I still don't want to lose my voice, I don't want to lose my life more. So if surgery is possible that's the route I will want to go. I'll still need to do Chemotherapy and Radiation but surgery is something else I want.
God is in control, he knows whats going on and he loves me.

I recently got an e-mail from a friend of mine who now lives in the state of Washington. I thought it was so good I would post it here too. Oh and the picture is of my littlest great nephew Jacob. Isn't he cute.

Baby's Hug ~
> We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik

> in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking.

> Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, 'Hi.' He pounded his fat
> baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter

> and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and
> giggled with merriment.
> I looked around and saw the source of his merri ment. It was a man
> whose pants were baggy with a zipper at hal f-mast and his toes poked

> out of would-be shoes His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed
> and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his

> nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.
> We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His
> hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. 'Hi there, baby; hi there,
> big boy. I see ya, buster,' the man said to Erik.
> My husband and I exchanged looks, 'What do we do?'
> Erik continued to laugh and answer, 'Hi.'
> Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the
> man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby.
> Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, 'Do ya

> patty cake ? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo.'
> Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk.
> My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for

> Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row

> bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.
> We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband
> went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The

> old man sat poised between me and the door. 'Lord, just let me out of

> here before he speaks to me or Erik,' I prayed. As I drew closer to
> the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he

> might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with
> both arms in a baby's 'pick-me-up' position. Before I could stop him,

> Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.
> Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated
> their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and
> submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The
> man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged

> hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom
> and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so
> short a time.
> I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms
> and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm
> commanding voice, 'You take care of this baby.'
> Somehow I managed, 'I will,' from a throat that contained a stone.
> He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he
> were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, 'God bless you,
> ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift.'
> I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I
> ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding

> Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, 'My God, my God, forgive me.'
> I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a
> tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a
> soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who
> was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, 'Are

> you willing to share your son for a moment?' when He shared His for
> all eternity.
> The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, 'To enter the
> Kingdom of God , we must become as little children.'
> If this has blessed you, please bless others by sending it on.
> Sometimes, it takes a child to remind us of what is really important.

> We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most
> importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the

> car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you
> at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that identifies who you
> are.
> This one is a keeper.
> 'It is better to be liked for the true you, than to be loved for who

> people think you are......

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